She is sitting in a chair, legs swinging, her face consumed by a big red frown. I’m quietly waiting for the water to boil in the kitchen, glancing over at her every few seconds. When the noodles are put in and I have seven minutes, I go to the chair across from her and calmly breathe.

“But she…” she starts to boil over the frustration that had been held in while waiting.

“She got in my way! And…and…”

“And you hit her. Attacked her, really.” I added.

“But you don’t understand…” she whined.

“I was so hungry and she’s just so slow!”

“I get you’re hungry and lunch is on the stove. But none of that has to do with how you treat your sister.” I said firmly.

“Whatever you are expecting of her has nothing to do with her. She’s not inside your head and was minding her own needs.” This statement was nothing I hadn’t said before, but I could see it sinks in more and more as I repeat myself.

“It’s just everything! It’s too much time with her! I miss my friends! I miss my school!” She starts to cry.

I kneel down next to her and grab her hands.

“I know, this is not easy and is not what we want right now. But God doesn’t put us in situations without a reason. We need to trust his plan and be good to each other. It is hard for her, too. You can be there for her or go against her, the choice is yours. I hope you love your sister enough to care about her feelings. I hope you love yourself enough to know that to use her to take out your anger is just going to make you feel bad. It will not solve the problem but give you a new one. We need peace in the household, especially when it seems chaotic everywhere else. We can be mad, but love needs to win overall.”

To say I don’t feel the same feelings of an angry eight-year-old right now would be a lie. I get it. It turns into too much very quickly. I feel like I’m just swinging my legs, waiting, ready to scream or cry or both. And it’s easy, so easy, to take it out on each other. We throw well-written punches constantly to our brothers and sisters on social media. It’s a good place to put our anger, with little recourse.

But now, I’ve gotten to the point my time-out speech needs to be heard. Like a big mama bear, I feel the need to spank the ugly words out of people. I, and many other parents, am spending so much time trying to teach our children how to love each other, how to be better people, and how to handle our differences. And we are tired of the grown-ups right now!

People say they worry about the next generation. I’m not. Out of the children I know, the next generation will be fine because they are tired of the ugliness. The comments and the pull-apart that we have created will evidentially vanish as these little ones start to take over. But for today, right now, at this moment, stop the self-made policing, the trolling, and the political put-downs.

I have two children, they are the same gender, religion, color, and class. Yet they still fight. Why? Because they are human. They have different feelings at different times. They are scared. They don’t know what is next for them and that is scary. They also have different personalities and different beliefs about how things should be. They have already had different experiences in their lives that motivate them to think differently. I can’t teach them to be the same so I teach them to respect each other. Adults need to be taught this, too! So, grow up and act like children.

Pause and pray before you post. Pause and pray before you attack a friend or relative who is different but going through the same crazy as everyone else. Take a time-out and think through a reaction. Be the adults our children need to see. The parents are trying but could use some help. Be better for our children because you are only ruining right now. They are going to make the world better because they had a real time-out.

Melanie Winter

Melanie is the Director of Marketing and Content Writer for WinternetWeb Technologies.

Melanie writes content for clients to promote marketing and branding in her web development business. She also writes for a blog and local community history projects and publications. She earned a Bachelors from Virginia Tech in Communications, English, and Religion. Melanie also enjoys writing fiction, spending time with her two daughters, antiquing, gardening, and community volunteering.